Puzzled as he was, Rick thought to himself, "I must either be really early or really late".

When 2 hours had passed since Billy was told, "Wait right here, I'll be back in a minute", it finally dawned on him. He had become one of those unfortunate kids abandoned at the store.

Episodes of Martha Stewart's Cooking School that never aired:

"And once you've used all the other parts for leftovers, what we're left with will make a wonderful, healthy bone broth soup for the week and that's a good thing".

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Peggy and Al's marriage was a continual negotiation.

"That's my final offer. I'll clip your nose hairs and rub your feet IF you cook and clean all next week".

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While he may be a man of action on land, sea and in the air, Joe was at a complete loss in the kitchen.

"Now if I had just spent more time doing KP".

Times were tough, and even though she was scrawny, he thought, any port in a storm.

"Yes, I invite you into my home. You sure have good manners, Mr Dracule".

While Popeye was never pleased with all of his natural attributes, he did learn to accept himself as he was.

"Well, I yam what I yam".

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In the days before unlimited text and calling, ‘Chatty Smurf’ ran up quite the phone bill. 

“Oh, you have to go make dinner? Sure, I’ll hold.”

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When ‘Shark Week’ was preempted with preliminary election results, it was then that Shipwreck snapped and put his fist through the television set.

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After having way too many mai tais at her friend’s bachelorette party, Smurfette permanently swore off ever having one again.

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Admittedly, Mr. Simms had an unorthodox management style.

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Smurfette's dinner date raised a few eyebrows that evening. 

“Guess Who’s Smurfing to Dinner”

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After watching ‘Nick at Nite’ for some time, Carol and Zarana finally came to blows about who was more like Mary Richards.

“You’re totally the Rhoda.”

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“I didn’t know this was going to be dinner AND a show”.

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Popeye realizes all too late that he left the seaweed wrap on far too long.

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After the plumber had to get called out for the third time, it was decided that Chewy would just have to start going to the dog groomers again.

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Peter was definitely not enjoying his dad’s second childhood.

“You were supposed to clean up your room already, and when are you going to cut the grass?”

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’Cannibal Smurf’ never wonders what’s for dinner.

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Fun fact: Batman is a cat person. 

“Hey! I thought I told you - aw, who am I kidding. I can’t get mad at you.”

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“Do ya wanna party?!”

Aaron thought long and hard about the offer. The last time he ‘partied’ he woke up the next day in the neighbor's gazebo.

* obscure Return of the Living Dead 1985 reference. 

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Here’s a scenario we’ve seen played out way too many times:

“Daphne and I are going to search the bedrooms for clues. You guys check around the cemetery, and we’ll meet back here in about 45 minutes, and DON'T come looking for us.”

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On tonight’s, ‘Sixty Something’…

“I already told you, I don’t know where your glasses are.”

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Scooby has an unsettling morning. 

“What’s in it? Snips, snails and puppy dog tails, of course.”

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Later on, Lucy became a notable industrialist and philanthropist. She managed to maintain her girlish charm.

“Well that’s the plant, Ms Van Peltz, what do you think?”

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Much-needed spa day...

“She didn’t recommend a chemical peel but said that I should have a milk-based hydration treatment.”

“Interesting. Mine said I should get a monthly pedicure.”

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“Hmmm, what’s for dinner....Probably nothing with marinara sauce”.

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Michonne is very particular about her candlelit suppers.

“This one better go off without a hitch, or heads will roll.”

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Marcy learned her codependent passivity early on from her bossy older sister. 

“And when you finish our homework, then you can iron my skirts for the week.”

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While Wolfman had his doubts, Barber Smurf was said to be the best in town when it came to ‘manscaping’.

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Everyone had warned 'Walkman Smurf' about traversing the road with his headset on. He didn’t anticipate this happening.

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Cindy hated having Barbara come over for coffee.

“ No, no, that’s fine, really. If Price Club coffee is all you have then that’s all you have.”

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Irritable Smurf would never again have a sleepover with Brainy Smurf.

“No, no, no no. First, we’ll do homework, then we’ll wash and iron my whites, then we’ll deep clean my retainer, and THEN we can watch TV, but ONLY PBS.”

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When the pool guy saw what they had done to the jacuzzi, he quit on the spot.

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“Are you still in bed lazybones?”

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'Litigious Smurf' in his usual setting: 

“Your attorney will see you now.”

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Despite having no leaves, these trees threw lots of shade. 

“Did you really wear that skirt with that sweater?”

“When is the last time you had a date?”

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‘Narcissist Smurf’ would often spend countless hours in the bathroom.

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Even He-Man didn’t like vegetables. 

“Babe, if you want to keep being ‘the most powerful man in the universe’, then you need to eat a salad once in a while.”

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